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July 02, 2008


Dan Meyer

Eight syllables in that second line.

Math pwns English!!!


Editors note:

English removed the unnecessary "1" after the 2nd "!" in Math's original glorious exclamation which would have read "!!1!". While Math certainly does not need any help, it seemed only gracious of Mr. Second Place to offer a hand in good will.]

Christian Long

Dear Math:


[lower lip extended, eyes dropping, fingers trading between scratching scalp and pulling out single shoots of hair]
You win.

I've wanted to tell you that for a long, long, long time, but I lost track of the # of days.

While there is a clever little move out of this syllabic bind that Grandpa English taught me years ago -- on that rides the coattails of e.e. cummings a bit -- I'm gonna simply raise a metaphorical calculator to your current superiority. After all, you take too many hits on the open testing market by anti-#'s folks, while we language-types get to trade creative baseball cards at semantic picnics.

[mutters under breath like cartoon dog in trench coat]

Note to English self: always go with ":" instead of silly prepositional phrases that litter the catbox of poetic grace. Oh, and resubscribe to I Love Math journal pronto!

[slight weight -- with no sense of how much weight, of course -- lifted from shoulders now that the burden of false truth has been removed from upon his shoulders]


P.S. Care to go best 2 out of 3 with a short story contest? No videos allowed, otherwise you can bring your A-game!

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